An ADHD Day

Today was a day similar to ones I have had in the past. I call it an ADHD day, days which my ADHD or effects of it manifest itself clear as day. I struggled at work today and didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked to.
To me, the details of what went wrong today are not as important as the effect it has on things. I tried to accomplish a simple task, one I have done successfully many times. I fell into a roadblock I did not have the correct materials to accomplish the task the easiest way. Usually this leads to an onset of mild frustration, but I usually can push through it. Well as I tried many different alternate applications I kept failing to accomplish my task. A task which normally takes 15 to 20 minutes is starting to take almost twice that. Feeling the need to finish frustration starts to mount. With me and my struggles this usually is the beginning of more frustration.

Usually what happens when I get frustrated and start putting pressure on myself my energy towards the task is doubled. I move much quicker which doesn't help the situation. I feel like the more I want to accomplish the task the more it seems like everything that could go wrong does. Errors compound errors and it almost feels like my world is going to collapse around me. The best example I could use is imagine doing a task that requires precise accuracy with your fingers such as screwing on small nuts or or working with small pieces, now imagine trying to accomplish it with huge snow mittens on your fingers.

What usually helps me when I have gotten to this point is to take a step back and take a minute to calm down and refocus. It works 80 pct of the time. Sometimes it just doesn't or I don't have the time to take a minute. Again as I said before my world around me feels to be closing in. Its at these times I understand why so many people who have ADHD have trouble holding down jobs or are on social security. Why would anyone want a job when they have to feel this way. It makes me want to run and hide in the corner far away from any problems and makes me not want to ever go back to work. I am lucky though because I usually have found ways away from this impending doom. I was taught the value of having pride in ones work and know the feeling of accomplishment. Just the mere fact that I have fought hard when things are tough is what gets me through this. I seem to always find a way.

It does help that I really enjoy my job even though it may sound like I don't. Its not the job making me feel this way, but sometimes certain factors put on by my some co-workers can make things harder. Today I persevered on and accomplished my task much slower than I wanted but nevertheless I did. This does not happen everyday or even very often but when it does it can be hard to deal with.